Funny Status Messages

   if you like to plank you're a w*nk

   America has Talent..but a little weak on the selection process for Jurors in Florida

   I'm convinced some of the news editors are getting a kick out of the weiner headlines: Anthony Weiner to resign: The congressman's rise and fall... (NY Daily News)

   storming the Castle Anthrax all alone and doesn't want any back up!

   in a bar the other day. "make me a zombie", "god beat me to this" said the barkeeper

   Watson, the super computer, on Jepordy! What's next, Johhny No. 5 on "The Dating Game"?

   I have an answering machine for my phone. Now when I'm not home and someone calls me up they hear a recording of a busy signal.

   If you are looking for khakis it's normally no big deal, but if you are from Boston and lose your khakis you need a ride home

   sure I can see the glass as half full,,,of crap!

   The strangest of all birth defects is an inability to see things my way...

   Don't get overly excited whenever someone invites you over to hangout. It coud be you are just an option for when they are bored.

   The levity of MOM saying just wait to you have kids someday and I hope they ...................................... OMG !!!!!!!!!!

   Waking up after a night out and knowing you could write The Hangover 3.

   David Guetta, NOT DEAD !!!!!!! :)

   All I want is to live in a world where kids don't lose their s*** when they see Elmo.

   If you were twice as smart, you'd still be the stupidest person I know!

   the new layout on facebook has me more confused than a baby in a strip club....wtf?

   I dont care if it is 5 min. till the bell.... I am packing up now !!!!

   Good: Your son's finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Worse: So are you

   We live in the "WTF" generation. [W]ikipedia [T]witter [F]acebook