Funny Status Messages
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I don't want to think today. I just want to breathe. 
My top fav 10 dictatorship dreamteam are passing away so fast.....
Dear Diary: "I’m not sure how much longer I can hide the fact that I’m a robot
Way to go American Idol judges. Publicly judging Charlie to where he is in tears, and now I'm just waiting for him to go "postal" on A.I. This season is about to heat up.
TMZ: Lil Wayne alive, six songs deep into new mix tape.
Yes It's true , the weekend is over
can see John Cena, when will he realise that a big bulky man like that with bright clothes is quite easy to see, everyone can see you.
March. In like a lion, out like a...hang on...wind chill of 34 degrees here in Orlando right now?....Okay....in like a lion, out like a Honey badger.
After sex, I've the same problem as a murderer; what to do with the body.
After deep thought and years of studying the language... Am I correct in thinking that zoom a zoom zoomin in a boom boom is indeed, penetrating a butthole?
I'm fully clothed and still look hotter than all these h0es dressed like it's 95 degrees
I'll go back to FB when they replace that "poke" button with a "spank" button.
Hey ladies complaining about not getting asked out: Don't be so stuck up. Put your number on the men's room wall like the rest of us.
Sometimes You have to realize that ......( some people can stay in your HEART without being in your LIFE ) ......
Real friends are very special, but you have to be careful because sometimes you have a friend and you think they are made of rock, then suddenly you realise they're only made of sand.
it just co-incidence that they chose the most one dimensional movie of the "Star Wars" franchise "The Phantom Menace" to make into the first 3D movie ?
Help! I'm an heiress trapped in the life of a peasant.
signed up for the wrong college courses... apparently I'm a rhinocologist..
Hornrimmed glasses are back..and uglier than ever
was worried about the tornado warning...then I looked around the house and realized it had already touched down. 