Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Women don't know what they want and change minds often. Lesson over.

   the interviewer asked him, if he failed college would he have committed suicide, he said he would rather kill himself than doing something that terrible

   Homeless people are like the raccoons of metropolitan areas. Always coming out at night to route through your garbage can with their furry little faces and opposable thumbs.

   Clothes are half of what makes a man who he is. Take your favorite super hero, put him in drag, is he still your favorite?

   would like to thank all his friends who came out to his intervention. Let's get together and do this every year!

   like the real live version of the state fair..

   Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

   If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle.

   Greek philosophers had some gangster names.

   Every hard boiled egg is yellow inside.

   Kid, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

   Know what I love???? Free handguns and Hard liquor night at the ball park!!! Ton's of fun!

   Ever since it all chaged ... it just hasn't been the same

   Bruno Mars told me, "If perfect is what you're searching for then just stay the same."

   hates Know-It-Alls, because if you really knew it all, you would know I think you a shmuck!

   not bothered by that fact that knowone understands him, its the reality that most of the time he doesnt understand himself; thats what scares him.

   as my part of breast cancer awareness I will be giving "free mammograms"...

   playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed.~

   Now With Extra Pulp, Squeezed Fresh For Your Statusfaction.

   trying to apply for a Unicorn Hunting License for the state of Nebraska....but I guess they were out..........................