Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Happy Easter!!! Remember that laying on your back screeming OH GOD is not a substitue for going to church Sunday

   thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!

   "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."-----JFK Are you listening, OBAMA?

   To those who ask why do need a gun that the capacity of holding 20-30 rounds of ammo....... Ok, let me ask you this, Do you need a cell phone? Do you need a Ipad? Do you need an SUV or a 50,000 square foot house? Do you need facebook? Nope! But its

   was listening to the word abolishionist today used in the news, so I invented a new word that I am....an "Obamalishonist"...... me likey soooo much !! LOL

   Yes, you are an independant women if you dont rely on a man to get your bills paid!

   its sad when fat girls lose weight only to discover they dont have a pretty face.

   Austin 3:16 says I just whopped your a$$

   Jesus himself told us that He saw Lucifer fall like a shooting star from Heaven... Just our luck the jerk landed at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

   If you love God you are deeply religious, If you love Islam, you are a radical.

   pretending to water the fake plants

   I think our dog is a Scientologist.

   The next four weeks is going to be incredibly difficult for people whose grandmother's actually have been ran over by reindeer.

   Fun fact: Trump has been President for 407 days and he just spent his 100th day playing golf

   Ann Coulter is what happens if you feed Kellyanne Conway after midnight.

   If Jesus turned water into wine, imagine what he could do with the bottled water we have now. He could probably turn aquafina into Grey Goose.

   Charlie Sheen uses tobasco sauce for eye drops! Winning!

   would like to fill a Pinata full of puke and break it over the collective heads of the Jonas Brothers

   Does Steven Tyler remind you a Jack Sparrow or am I crazy?

   why does snoop dog carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE.