love Funny Status Messages

   Date *sitting on couch* I love scary movies Me: ok but this is pretty dark, it's about a boy plagued by haunted dolls Date: Sounds good! Me: The cowboy one is called Woody

   I love the summer because I love how my ass and thighs form an irreparable bond with the car's scorching hot leather seat

   Love waking up to the sound of birds arguing with their spouses.

   If somebody doesn't text me back within 5 minutes I assume they don't love me or that they've died from loving me too much.

   You used to be able to tell a finicky child his meal was made with love. Now they double check if it's gluten-free love.

   Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!

   I just want to suffocate, sorry I mean love you.

   Her: I love that thing you do to make me moan. Me: *makes another plate of nachos*

   .i. love \i/

   "Love" is purely a chemical imbalance of serotonin, dopamine, & norepinephrine. It is nothing magical or "special"; just simply an irregularity in the brain; a "two-faced high"

   I love the phrase "we're expecting" when talking about pregnancy, because it makes it sound like there's more than one outcome - "Yeah, we're expecting a baby.......... but it could very well be a Tyrannosaurus Rex"

   Life is too short to care about being skinny. I LOVE FOOD. Plus, there's plenty of time to be skinny when I'm dead.:-)

   s Akon 2006 "I wanna f**k you" .. Akon 2008 " I wanna make love right now na na na" .. Akon 2010 "I just had sex!" .. poor guy waited 4 years!

   thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

   My wife has me held captive by her love.. and these handcuffs. But don't call the cops, this is not a cry for help.

   I love all of the sexual harassment jokes that everyone says at sexual harassment training.

   If you're an American who feels that you are represented in your government, please contact me. I love people with imaginations.

   Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.

   I'm done looking for love, When it's ready...it can come find me.

   An ex should stay an EX. They`re an EXample of the wrong love & an EXplanation for why you deserve better!