friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if George Zimmerman went Back Friday shopping

   out clubbing this weekend. I'm going to beat my record of 12 baby seals.

   If you see me in Atlanta this weekend, at a Taylor Swift concert, that's not me.

   I know what you did last Friday the 13th.

   My goal for Easter weekend is to move just enough each day to make sure no one thinks I'm dead.

   I got blown out in my Fantasy Hurricane League this weekend

   now that you spent all your money on Black Friday Now what?

   I don't wanna be presumptuous, but I think this Sandra Fluke chick just might be the love of my weekend. Now, if she'd only return my phone calls...

   Friday Night. I've missed you. You've been coy and bashful all week long. So you abide by the "lady in the street but a freak in the bed" motto. Oh... I see we see eye to eye. I'll be waiting for you when the sun does down.

   Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample ovee others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

   Good morning Friday...tell your pal Monday he needs to come around here tomorrow so all my friends can get back to work so they don't forget how great it is to work for a living.

   Happy+Friday=much fun......

   That channel is all Hawt blonds and old dudes. Every show from Fox news looks like a party scene from Weekend at Bernies

   The NFL has decided that the Washington Redskins do not have to travel to Dallas next weekend to play the Cowboys due to the fact that we already won the NFC east.

   How is Monday the 13th not as scary as Friday the 13th?!

   O Friday, O Friday! wherefore art thou Friday? Deny thy other weekday

   Damn! Why did Friday the 13th have to be today...it's only the middle of the week!

   I got so wasted this weekend I kept spilling drinks...all over the inside of my stomach.

   I killed 6 people this morning thinking they were post-apocalyptic zombies. Then I realized there was no apocalypse, it's just Sunday morning on a long weekend. Sorry to the families of the people who's brains I spiked in the church parking lot this morni

   Can Travelocity help me find a vacant womb for the weekend?