life Funny Status Messages

   Alert and sober is no way to go through life.

   Taking your kids to work is a great way to combine the two most annoying things in your life.

   life is now back on track... unfortunately for me that track is downhill... and there's me with no steering or brakes...

   The only thing better than living a mundane, boring life is writing about it on the internet.

   It's a facebook status, not an opportunity to spill your whole life story and look for everybody's pity

   When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide

   Life has no damn remote....get up and change it yourself!

   NOTE TO SELF: Remember not to post about my personal life on FaceBook. And don't forget to pick up condoms for my date with whats her name..........

   We're taught from a young age that we need to work hard to achieve success, riches, or fame in life. Then we grow up to see sh****gs like Snooki, the Situation and the Kardashians. You know... People who have never done anything!

   I have this recurring dream where I'm locked up in a room with all the people I've ever offended in my entire life and they are all glaring at me and I think, Great! I get to make fun of all you losers at once.

   thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.

   Ever see a flower poking up through a crack in the sidewalk? The crack represents the troubles in your life, the flower is the possibilities.

   just spent 30 minutes entering ridiculous symptoms into WebMD and it diagnosed me as having no life and being immature. Pshhh!

   My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before she discovered Facebook...

   LIFE IS SHORT... PLAY NAKED

   At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

   Dear Boss, Life is full of surprises. I'm not coming into work today. SUPRISE!!

   "Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....

   The best things in life make you sweaty.