friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Tiger Woods's win last weekend is a great reminder that sex addiction only affects your golf game for 923 days.

   The best part of Black Friday? Waiting outside the stores for exhausted women on endorphin highs to come out.

   monday - friday , we work. saturday - sunday they party I'm still @ work. they sleep I'm dreaming!

   I got a new phone Friday, it has Texas Hold 'em installed and OH MY FREAKING GOSH IS IT SUNDAY ALREADY?????

   If next Friday , the Friday before Easter has always been known as Good Friday ( Which sort of bothered me because it was far from a Good Friday for our Crucified Savior) shouldn't the Friday before Palm Sunday be known at least as Mediocre Friday?

   A text from my mate : "I'm guaranteed to shag the missus up the bum this weekend. She's dyslexic and think's it's Vaseline's Day."

   I am wondering what type of Easter eggs they are eating this weekend at Trump rallies....

   Dude, it's just another Friday. I would expect the religious ppl to be at work on time as well.

   I bet Jesus was pissed that he missed the whole weekend and then woke up on a Sunday when the liquor stores are closed.

   Fun At The Office Tip: Eat an Easter egg on the Friday after Easter, then wait for the employees to start an office pool named, "What crawled up your a$$ and died?"

   there such a thing as a bad friday?

   So umm.....Friday. I've been waiting for a while now wondering watcha waiting for?? Rebecca is not gonna introduce you every week now c'mon!

   Aaaaaahhhhhh.....Friday.....time for the Beer-Goggle Olympics. But be careful single peeps, 'cuz once the sun comes up, you COULD find yourself in a bad horror movie. WHOOP!! Have a GREAT weekend!!

   I wonder what Rebecca Black thinks of Samoa skipping out on Friday?.......

   Since the day b4 Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the yr & it's called "black Friday" & the day b4 Thanksgiving is the biggest bar nite of the yr I'm declaring it "black out Wednesday"

   Friend: Who r you going for in the Superbowl? Me: Um, the Superbowl was last weekend. Friend: Ya, but isn't there several? Me: No dude, there's only one.....i think your thinking of baseball...

   You know those couples where the wife is 40 something and looks like 20 something, and the husband makes over 100k and the teenagers are respectful and good looking and they go out to eat together on Friday nights as a family? I HATE those people!

   come on weekend why your taking so long to come

   It's Friday! That means just two more days until Monday.

   playing COD MW2 to give my brain cells something fun to do in case they're no longer around on Saturday morning after Friday nights events.