Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon dude, where's my government
←Rate | 10-05-2013 20:59 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to maintain good eye contact with a cute pedestrian once she slips beneath your wheel.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 17:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Squirrels - Nature's Speedbumps
←Rate | 03-16-2010 20:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laying on my TV watching the couch. I needed to switch things up a bit.
←Rate | 10-21-2010 23:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon fact: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
←Rate | 11-26-2012 18:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kilometers are shorter than miles. So I'll be taking my next trip in kilometers to try and save some gas.
←Rate | 02-23-2011 12:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I beg your pardon. I didn't recognize you. I've changed a lot.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 16:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon # # When it comes to poker...a good deal depends on a good deal.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 18:55 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before drinking an "energy drink", pause to consider this: How are you going to use that extra energy to better serve Christ?
←Rate | 07-02-2015 21:54 by Aaron Comments (4)  


   messageicon (status update from the future) RIP everyone.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 14:49 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Call off the search for Waldo. I think this large man on the bus, wearing a red and white striped hat, ate him.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when a person tells you "I've got your back..." they forget to add "...in my crosshairs."
←Rate | 09-16-2010 09:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I just did in that bathroom was so tragic that when I walked out, a Native American turned his head as a tear rolled down his cheek.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 16:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon [tears open envelope] It's here! It's *really* here! The expressed written consent of the National Football League!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 19:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon When dressing up for Halloween, disguise the limit.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 15:42 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon save your breath.... You'll need it to blow up your date!
←Rate | 04-21-2010 17:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just caught my girlfreind in bed with my best friend. I threw her out, then grabbed him and shouted, "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!"
←Rate | 09-07-2010 21:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a thought, then it smiled and waved goodbye.
←Rate | 08-03-2010 15:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon yo mamma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid
←Rate | 11-26-2010 13:49 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon bankruptcy spelled with one "oh sh*t" or two?
←Rate | 10-08-2010 02:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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