Aaron Funny Status Messages
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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar, but that's alright because I am a dinosaur.
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11-07-2010 20:09 by Aaron
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What if birds are just out of control napkins.
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01-13-2012 15:43 by Aaron
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This is 2011. Giving me $10 to cut your grass will get me as far as mowing "F**K YOU" in it.
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06-06-2011 16:47 by Aaron
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If I jumped out a plane and my parcute didn't work I would be so angry.
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09-20-2012 22:36 by Aaron
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Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
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05-08-2013 06:52 by Aaron
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You guys, this is my first ever facebook status update sent from a toilet. Did I do good?
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08-04-2010 17:39 by Aaron
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I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
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04-13-2010 14:28 by Aaron
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When it comes to helping you, some people stop at nothing.
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02-21-2011 19:25 by Aaron
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Life didn't hand me lemons. I picked them myself.
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10-18-2013 18:52 by Aaron
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Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I'm going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
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11-25-2010 01:53 by Aaron
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My least favorite part of Sunday mornings is being hungover when you have to find a place to hide the body.
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01-17-2011 00:07 by Aaron
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I use to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.
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07-16-2014 18:46 by Aaron
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To all my Atheist and Agnostic friends. T_IF!
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10-15-2010 15:36 by Aaron
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Honey, remember to address the dog as "Dr." Scruffy. We didn't pay for eight years of post-grad obedience school for nothing.
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08-01-2010 00:48 by Aaron
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"...and if elected, I promise you will never hear from me again..."
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10-08-2010 13:47 by Aaron
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
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04-17-2010 11:44 by Aaron
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I saw some girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off. So I rolled my window down and threw my beer at her.
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02-01-2013 20:23 by Aaron
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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
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10-07-2010 18:18 by Aaron
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Got up to watch the sunrise this morning. Orange. Real original nature, thanks for wasting my time.
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01-03-2012 21:54 by Aaron
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there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat
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01-23-2014 22:13 by Aaron
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