friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   "Yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery, and today is Friday"

   Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!

   WARNING: If you forget Daylight Savings Time ends this weekend, you may come in early and inadvertently make Monday an hour longer.

   The weekend crowd here is hard to please.

   It's Friday, Saturday's less hungover neighbor.

   I've come to the realization that I have attained the pinnacle of middle aged complacency. My Friday nights are mostly spent with the remote in one hand, and my b***s in the other.

   Apparantly Friday was National Day of the Ninja. I was completely unaware of it. Well played Ninja Day… well played

   The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   This is the first time in my life that am seeing a month without a weekend, everyday is everyday

   I met a woman on a date last night , and I don't think it'll work out , she said she's a weekend heroin user. If she can't commit to Heroin, what kind of wife material is she really ?

   Getting hyped for the weekend is soooo mainstream.

   Brace yourselves it's Harley Quinn weekend!

   [coworker interrupting my story about how my weekend was] first of all McDonald’s doesn’t even have soup

   Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet

   I ate too much salad over the weekend so I'm going on an Oreo cleanse today.

   Everything gets stolen this Friday, because it's Black Friday

   Black Friday: The day you spend hundreds of dollars on possessions to celebrate the birth of a man who didn't believe in possessions.

   Black Friday: That day we spend hundreds of dollars on material goods to celebrate the birth of a man who didn't believe in material goods.