Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Wonder what Emeniem does for his mom on Mother's Day ?

   Dear Mother Nature, I know you've been on the rag lately, but could you please put a cork in it?!?! Thanks

   Actually, Yes! I do want to see a picture of your Mother-In-Law Eli. Your wife is hot!

   A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea.

   * Reverend mother has been constipated for a week. The nuns tried home remedies without sussess. One nun said how about I go out to a bar. The other nuns ask how will that help ? She said if I go and come back drunk reverend mother will sh*t for sure.

   To the people who are offended by this song...Well...let me tell you.. The Lady is a Tramp song by Frank Sinatra was a song written about my mother! Now,if you got a problem with thiat Then....Obviously that means you must have slept with her..

   Stranger things have happened. Remember how Mary, Jesus's mother got pregnant without sex??

   One of the most difficult jobs in the world is being a mother. If done wrong, you could ruin someone's future......NO PRESSURE!!!

   Evidently once your mother leaves the house you jump on her computer and think your a comedian with the "once you....."

   Wow...Im sittin at work watchin the snow fall... Its friggin October! Mother Nature must of finally hit menopause.. That fridgid b!tch made it snow!! Bring fall back!!!

   That moment when you realize you will probably never be half the man your mother is...

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.

   Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.

   I am a male feminist because I have a genetic history of women in my family. As it turns out, my grandmothers and my mother were ALL women.

   Two girls talking. 1st girl: I've been ask lots of times to get married. 2nd girl: Was it by the same guy? 1st girl: No, by my mother.

   For Mother's Day I'm getting my mom a camera that will allow her to take less than 45 minutes to take a picture. If they make one...

   i find it ironic that in "the smurfs 2" the stepdad explains to Neil Patrick Harris' character how he met his mother

   starting to think Brett Favre switched places with mother nature, the weather seems very indecisive lately........

   My mother never breast fed me. She told me she likes me as a friend.

   Trump condemns Hurricane Harvey for violence and devastation, but insists "Texans have provoked Mother Nature. There's blame on many sides."