Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   How I met your mother? Well son, it was arranged.

   The wind just blew a plactic bag away from me at this table and down the sidewalk. "That one's on you, Mother Earth."

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   *Maury opens envelope*......................"Necessity IS the mother of Invention!"....... *Necessity jumps up and throws chair across stage*

   Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother or long lost sister.

   WTF is with all the American Girl dolls on ebays deal of the day.... This isn't christmas mother fcukers

   Every call from my mother is a judgment call.

   I would like to wish a happy Labor Day to all the mother out there.

   Steven Tyler has the face only a mother could love.

   As a mother, I knew one day I would have to deal with the issue of bullying. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon and to my fish.

   My mother-in-law has to work for "Tips",,,,,,,,,, Yeah,, You see, Nobody will put the whole thing in....

   On this blessing occasion of mother's day I'd like to thank all the sri lankis and philippinos and other maids who are raising the precious lebanese children and wish them a happy mother's day

   My son is on 11 months and can't talk but sometimes I think it's fun to imagine what he would say if he could... like this morning; I imagined him saying "Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster

   Anyone who says single moms don't do both roles of a mother & father when the father doesn't spend time or money with his children is THE DEAD BEAT we are referring to!!

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend. Lets all reflect on my life together.

   Dear mother nature, now I know that last year when you made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights we had some words. This year if you ruin my summer again I might have to go against all of what I believe and choke a b***h!

   Mother Teresa has been canonized. She's no longer Catholic fan fiction.

   Bristol Palin is not amused with Tina Fey's impression of her mother, Sarah Palin. Perhaps it's was Sarah Palin doing an impression on Tina Fey. No one ever thinks about that.

   Am I the only mother***king one who doesn't understand a f***king word that Katt Williams motherf***king says?