life Funny Status Messages

   They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it.

   When life leaves you speechless, music provides the lyrics to help you find the meaning...

   If my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it's not the special edition with all the deleted scenes I've blocked from my memory.

   Attention Club Lonely... Keep posting those deep, philosophical, pseudo, life enriching quotes on your profiles. It tells the opposite sex what a day at the amusement park you are.

   I wonder how many times in the past I was wrong before she entered my life and started keeping track?

   With today being St Patricks day,I've decided to dedicate my life to helping leprechauns clean up thier act. They're always smoking the pot at the end of the rainbow.

   Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you'll feed him for life. Give a octopus nunchuks and nobody's going to bother those fish again.

   Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...

   It's better to have loved and lost than to have spent the rest of your life with that psycho. Happy Single Person's Awareness Day!

   Live your life and forget your age...

   In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

   My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing!

   When I am sad, I think of you- I then realize that my life is still better then yours.

   There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$

   Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,may burn your a*s tomorrow.

   On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

   .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.

   Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.

   Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows give you advice about life

   Cinderella is proof that a fancy pair of shoes can change your life!!