love Funny Status Messages

   Back in my day Werewolves didn't fall in love with babies...THEY ATE THEM!!

   If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon

   There's nothing worse than not getting the right amount of love from strangers on the internet.

   All of these couples in the Hallmark Christmas movies that fall in love in a couple of days should have sequels on the Crime Network by Halloween when one of them murders the other one.

   I love how these photoshop models think they have "fans." Let's be realistic. Most of those people are not your fans, they just want to get you in bed.

   I love when my friends lock their keys in their car... And then call me like I can do something about it.. Just because I'm black doenst mean I know how to break into cars!

   I took a sh!t this morning. TMI? Yeah well I don't want to read about how in love you are with your boyfriend of the week either.

   I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."

   Let love come to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page :)

   I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment. We just sleep together every night and wake up together every morning.

   Dear Women, We don't know what we're thinking, so please stop asking us that. Love, Men

   The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.

   Be Yourself, Because you never know who would love the person you hide

   Gotta love the commercials for medications. The side effects of the meds are usually worse than the symptoms. For example, I have an itchy leg. "try dexalog: symptoms may include: hair loss, weight gain, growing an extra head, skin to disintegrate..."

   Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends.

   Falling in love is like falling down when you drunk or high...u dont feel the pain until the magical effect is gone..

   “In life we all have an unspeakable secret, and irreversible regret, an unreachable dream, and an unforgettable love.” 

   I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.

   People who marry for money over love usually end up cheating for love over money!

   My mom is so bad at texting. She meant to say "I love you" and she accidentally sent "You're a huge disappointment"... lol parents can't text