friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   I am tried of 7 day weeks and having to wait for the weekend. I think the week should be as followed. Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Get rid of Wednesday and Thursdays. . .

   I've been trying and trying yet so far no luck. I can't seem to get MapQuest to pull up a shortcut to Friday.

   Over the weekend in California — a big one, a 6.0 earthquake. It was so powerful that Lindsey Lohan was driving on the right side of the road.

   Sorry, my social calender is full this weekend. Going to a HoeDown, a Shindig and a Hootenanny.

   All this spending on Black Friday! Y'all better pay that electric bill first, or next Friday will be Black Friday too

   Weekend plans: Driving around downtown throwing Big Macs at girls with a thigh gap...... *bonus points for getting it into the thigh gap.

   Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”

   Celebrating "Thank-The-Lord-That-Stupid-Brown-Thursday-Black-Friday-Cyber-Monday-Marketing-Crap-Is-Over" Tuesday.

   This is odd... I just got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by Lindsay Lohan for throwing up last weekend?

   Rum, Dr. Pepper, and the Curse of the Black Pearl. The end to a great weekend!

   I wish the weekend came as fast as my ex did.

   So apparently I'm getting judged on the weekend... like how I get judged by human beings everyday... including my mother.... and my mother is much more scary....

   If its Friday night and she lifts up her skirt and her panties say Saturday. She is staying the night.

   FUN FACT: Trying to find a shortcut out of IKEA on the weekend was the inspiration for the ending of The Shawshank Redemption.

   I just found out my mother-in-law is going to be staying with us for the Thanksgiving Weekend. Well, it looks like I have to clean out the hall closet again.....she is going to need somewhere to hang upside down and sleep

   There's a Black Friday sale at my house, pants are 100% off

   Anyone going somewhere exciting this weekend to stare at your phone?

   ah, Friday! My second favorite "F" word!

   Short term goal, today get past annoying Monday and Monday's close friends, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday before hanging out with Friday and Friday's hot friends Saturday and Sunday.

   Plans for the weekend? Lie in bed and move just enough so people don't think I'm dead.