santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   That grandma that got run over by a reindeer was lucky she never lived to hear the terrible Christmas song they wrote about her.

   Insomnia sufferers - look on the bright side..... Only three more sleeps til Christmas

   I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beer.

   The Christmas cheer has begun.... American Express commercials just announced if you use their card ...they'll donate ONE SHINY PENNY to charity...... is there any way to spend LESS,,,, nice JOB AMEX

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

   I fell asleep reading my hard copy of "A Christmas Carol". The book slid off my lap and landed square on my big toe! Man, that hurt like the dickens.

   if I Really tell Santa what I want for Christmas, Then I will definitely be on his naughty list ...

   This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's Christmas list.

   Dear Santa: This year all I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body ... And please don't get it backwards like you did last year!!!

   Woke up this morning with a song in my heart. Sadly, that song was "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas".

   The night before the 1st day of school is just like Christmas Eve for parents

   just hacked into Santa's computer. All corporate executives will be getting coal this year.

   Please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do remember Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   I'm sending my friends Justin Beiber CDs because fruitcake is a traditional Christmas gift.

   If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas

   I love the holidays. A time when people are supposed to be more nice and caring, actually become bigger a$$holes than they are the rest of the year.

   Only 364 shopping days till Christmas..

   An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures

   Dear Santa: This year I would like a "Bailout and a Bonus."..."Yes, I know I have been really bad, spent my money frivolously ,even did some illegal things and therefore I think I deserve it."----The Government

   I can barely hear the songs on this Christmas station over the sound of the DJ choking himself with a belt.