Cybus Funny Status Messages

   Justin Bieber says he's quitting music. In related news, the Death Star now has one less reason to destroy Earth..

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

   Put your hands up for Detroit.....and beg for money!

   It's 3am and I was wondering why there are birds still awake and chirping outside my window. Must have gotten their sleeping patterns messed up...or they probably do shift work.

   Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.

   So apparently North Korea is threatening war on the US over a Seth Rogen film in which Kim Jong-un is assassinated. Maybe someone should tell Kim Jong-Un that Seth Rogen is Canadian...

   America was not shutdown properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without corrupt politicians? (Recommended)

   Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate halloween. I guess they don't like random people coming up to their door.

   You can't really blame sharks for attacking swimmer. If some random guy walked into my house wearing nothing but speedos, I'd probably attack him as well!

   I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer.

   What color are Paul Walker's eyes? Blue. One blew one way, one blew the other way.

   The Economist has calculated that the world is 52 trillion dollars in debt. Who on earth does the world owe? Jupiter?!!

   My reaction to the royals William and Kate visiting Australia is the same reaction I had to their kid being born. I couldn't give a f you c k!!

   Let me get this straight: The passports of the 9/11 terrorists, of those on the MH17, and of one of the Paris bombers - all survived! I don't know about you but I think it's time we started making clothes out of passports!

   What the schnitzel is Duck Dynasty?

   I AM A STEGOSAURUS.

   Oh god please let next year be a better year and let it bring hopefully an end to Obama's drone strikes killing innocent people.

   Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!

   Jingle Bells, Dalek smells, the Doctor saved the day. Oh what joy it was to see him saving Gallifrey.