nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Tony Romo tried to throw a Superbowl party but it was intercepted

   A girl wearing a pink jersey is not a fan of football. She's just trying to bang someone who is.

   What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.

   thinks if you are the fortunate one to sing our National Anthem at the SUPERBOWL, then shouldn't you at least know the lyrics? fail, BIGTIME!

   A lot can happen in 2mins during football.. Like 47 useless commericals..For instance..

   cant have an openly religious football player in the NFL, that would be bad. it needs more accused murderers, rapists and morons who shoot themselves in the leg.

   Thursday Night Football on the same time during the Vice Presidential debate....well played NFL, well played.

   Worst football performance by a Brady since Marcia.

   I want a job in construction. I want to apply to be that guy who is never doing anything when you drive by slowly because they are merging lanes. this guy can usually be seen holding a cigarette and wearing his football teams logo on his hard hat

   since football season is officially here, I will celebrate by tackling the sh*t out of stupid people that piss me off!

   Superbowl Party Eating Tip: Your pants won't get too tight if you don't wear any.

   Jameis Winston will appear on the covers of both EA Sports "NCAA Football '14" AND "Grand Theft Crustacean."

   Rather than crush the spider I started telling it about my fantasy football team and it peacefully left on its own.

   Watching Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod popcorn at the superbowl made me wish I was blind.

   OK ladies....College football starts tonight!! You may now start to cheat, shop or whatever.....Just shut up and stay out of the Man Cave!!

   Commercials: Now brought to you with limited football interruption.

   superbowl-- the only time I actually look forward to watchin commericals.. .

   Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.

   You know what would would solve the whole Kaepernick issue? If only he was a better football player...

   I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team