JCGJ Funny Status Messages

   ..R.I.P - Adam Yauch, Co- Founder of the Beastie Boys

   Ah, Easter. That lovely time of year that reminds you to take down the Christmas decorations.

   Going to Mark Zuckerberg's house to move around all his furniture and see how he likes it !!!

   ▒▒broke my spac▒ebar but ▒▒a▒▒ little duct tape goes▒▒ a long w▒ay….

   Official sponsor and supplier for the London 2012 Olympic Games. ..RAIN !

   10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash – Now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..

   I’m convinced that Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are made by Dyson.

   North Korea is shaking some big balls at the United States, though they're most likely photoshopped !

   Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! It's off to sleep I go. I'll crawl in bed and rest my head. Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho!

   the wheels of the bus go round and round. And it's making me sick.

   Still waiting for Activision to come out with "Call of Duty" for Atari 2600

   Ryan Lochte is going to be a father, which proves that no matter how stupid you may be, it only takes one strong swimmer to get somebody pregnant.

   Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!

   Time is like a stretched elastic band. You can't let it go or it'll come back and take your balls out.

   Doctors handwriting: ﹏﹏ ﹏﹏ ﹏. What I see: ǽ₮∂￦￡. What the pharmacist sees: Aspirin you dumb ass.

   Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self-centered lives already in progress.

   We used to be young and carefree, and now we have a favorite cashier at the grocery store.

   ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ Sorry, I just dropped my bag of Doritos.

   “Catch me outside, how about that?