friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.

   Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

   Spring makes every day feel like you're stuck in the office on a Friday afternoon.

   Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?

   I can't wait until next weekend's episode of the best reality show on tv... So You Think You Can Ref...

   Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next.

   Who came up with the brilliant idea of moving the clocks forward on the weekend...in the middle of the night?? Why not move them ahead on a Friday around 4PM?

   would like to observe a moment of silence for all the innocent brain cells that lost their lives over the weekend.

   Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)

   I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.

   I lost 3 pounds over the weekend.but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut

   My boss yelled at me yesterday "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it's Friday?"…

   When people ask me what I did over the weekend, I always squint and respond “Why, what did you hear?”

   I remember when a wasted weekend had absolutely nothing to do with being unproductive.

   I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"

   The final Twilight movie and Lincoln both opened the same weekend. One is about a shameful, dark chapter in our history we hope never will be repeated. The other is about a president.

   Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.

   In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.

   Shrek beat Sex and The City at the box office this past weekend. It was quite a showdown between two very unique movies. One is about a hideous creature and all of it's friends, and the other one is Shrek.