Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My mother in law won "best decorated house" yesterday for Halloween?..she was only opening the curtains?

   My mother-in-law sent me the link to the site where you can buy a boarding pass to Mars. She even offered to pay for the ticket. That's so sweet of her.

   I'm wondering...did Bruce Jenner get a father's day gift on father's day, a mother's day gift on Mother's day, or gifts on both days? If he gets gifts on both days, then this all makes sense now.

   In light of recent news regarding 'A day without a woman' men everywhere a grateful just to have peace & quiet from a nagging mother-in-law

   Thank God for my mother being so horny 31 years ago or I could have just died a slow death in a sock.

   What's the difference between a Catholic mother and a Jewish mother? A Catholic mother says "If you don't eat this, I'll kill you.", a Jewish mother says "If you don't eat this, I'll kill myself.".

   I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!

   Does Bruce Jenner get a Mother's Day present this year?

   Spent the last 40 mins. on the phone with my mother, regrettably the first rule of Zumba class is nothing like the first rule of Fight Club.

   Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared.

   I Just got super excited when Ice-ice Baby played on Pandora, Does that mean that I'm getting old? Yo man lets get outa hair, Word to your mother!!!!

   "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didnâ€

   You see,,, Once you start making Freudian slips, you can't stop,,, it's just one after a mother.

   All Mom's gave birth to a child, except mine she gave birth to a legend!!! **High fives my Mom on Mother's Day**

   Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.

   "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?

   Freudian slip; Where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

   I just dropped a MOABM .. mother of all bowel movements

   Crap, I accidentally said Happy Mother's Day to my mother in person instead of writing a paragraph on social media. I feel like such a tool

   Here's a story,of a LOVELY lady
 who was bringing up three very LOVELY girls
all of them had hair of gold, like their mother.
the youngest one in curls. RIP CAROL BRADY