life Funny Status Messages

   People who cry like a baby over repeated jokes. Life is short - stop sulking.

   All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of Lay's potato chips.

   Women will stop crying if you start licking the tears off their cheeks and tell them how delicious their life force is. I think.

   I went to the bar last night and I hit on the fattest most ugly chick, and I got rejected. I finally accomplished my goal in life.

   I just found out Obama has been lying this whole time.......now..… I … I just … my whole life has been a lie.

   new rule....everyone given a "life sentence" by a judge has to start racing NASCAR.....one of them will die fast

   Nurse::::You unplugged your grandmothers life support ,, well excuse me lady but ..My phone had 1% life left..

   In response to recent rape allegations, TV Land has pulled all episodes of the Cosby Show off the air. My life is ruined.

   ..We can learn a lot in life from our crayons we had as kids; some are dull, some are bright, and they are all different colors, but they have to learn to live in the same box..(",)

   Friends are like computers : they enter into your life,saves you in their heart,formats your problems & never deletes you from their memory.

   Imagine if you knew exactly when are you going to die, what would you do with the rest of your time? I bet you would change a lot of things about you life...

   Why when I go into a gym all the big girls look at me and think why is she here.... I look at them and think "Im glad I'm here now," maybe you should have been in here earlier in life and you'd be on my side...

   Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss or dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt by the heart.

   Life always play with us, when we are helpless..!!!

   If something is important enough in my life, it will be denoted by the fact I created an itunes playlist to represent it.

   Since when has being cheap counted as "empowerment"?...Hey, I'm all for getting in touch with the "inner goddess" by pole dancing you're way to "new you", but you can't get lobster thermidore out of a can of tuna. Get a life."

   A picture only captures a millisecond of a life. So at the end of the day, don't judge a person by their pics.

   And some life's are not meant for happy endings!

   You only think I'm engaged in ur pathetic life story, om really wondering if monkey nipp!es get hard when theyre cold

   THONY DEVITO 07/17/2012 No matter how busy I am, I always manage to make room in my life to get unreasonably angry when an update I'm proud of gets no reaction.