life Funny Status Messages

   My FB movie is just 10 years of life kicking my in the balls...

   Make sure the important people in your life know how important they are before it’s too late.

   Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more.

   You know....I once dated an amputee....She single-handedly changed my life.

   Sunglasses: Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

   Life was easier and simpler when I was apart of the Sheepeople herd.

   when life throws you a lemon add the tequila and the salt !!

   I feel the need to comment on the amount of energy we are expending on attempting to organize and control chaos. Life is fluid, my friends. The tighter you try to squeeze it, the more of it that escapes your between your fingers. Relax. Let t

   We are all turds in the punch bowl of life.

   The best things in life can't be seen or touched. At least, that's what the restraining order says.

   HOSTESS has filled for Bankruptcy Protection !!! What is this world coming too? The Good News is the Twinkies will Outlast us all. I think the shelf life is um, Forever.

   get a life is your only copyright

   Completed 19 yrs in this life.,.,., but will always be "18 TILL I DIE"

   Concentration. Precision. Fearlessness. Patience. Four skills all men possess while shaving that I wish we could apply to other aspects of our life, always.

   ‎"When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life..." You know now that I'm older this circle of life doesn't really seem that balanced... Especially if your the antelope

   the best sort of perfection in life, funnily enough, comes in the form of imperfection!

   Life is a Kaleidoscope after few beers! *Sunday Closed*

   You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

   Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.

   when life gives me lemons, I forget about them in the crisper until they rot. Same thing with apples, really. Nothing special about you, lemons.