life Funny Status Messages

   6 year old hosting a Lego funeral, "We must accept what comes to us. Gogo's death is one of the obstacles in life."

   a Genie told me I could have a great memory or an epic Phallus, but for the life of me I can't remember which one I chose...

   they're are moments in life. Moments when you know u've crossed bridge and your old life is over. I'm into action. I have arrived!

   so hungry i'm starin' at my candlestick hopin' he's come to life, sing me 'be our guest' n prepare me a dancing yummy feast !!

   You can look at some people and instantly know they're only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.

   Shout out to the top 5 kinds of boats, row, tug, sail, life and Ricky the Dragon Steam

   I've gotta have more people in my life that love my elbows.. .

   We have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.

   If you are fighting and someone yells worldstar you better fight for your life

   When life sucks I sit back and enjoy the head

   Don't you just hate how some ppl get all crazy over a movie???? Like they think there is real life vampires out there who just stay up all night watching you sleep

   Life is dangerous: You could slip in the shower, get hit by a bus, mauled by a bear or drown in breasts (it happens, look it up).

   I onced climaxed to the sound of my own voice. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

   The way Donald Trump think everyone is a killer, its safe to believe he was a cat in previous life.

   Happy wife.. Happy life!

   The Meaning of Life is simply to give your Life Meaning.

   What do you do if your about to die in front of a candy store? Eat a life saver :)

   Some might argue that having spider webs in your kitchen sink is a sign you need to cook more... I, however, see it as a sign that life is pretty damn good! (Let's go with that)

   All my life I've blamed myself for having a weight problem. Turns out it was my mom's fault. It's not that she prepared fattening dishes, or made me eat a lot. It's just that instead of having an egg in her uterus, she had bacon.

   Life is all about ideas and who has the better one..