love Funny Status Messages

   Love does not fade with time, shape, weight, looks and bank balance; It's your own damn fault that you’re Jobless.

   127.0.0.1 I wish I was with you right now and not at work. I would love to crawl in your nice warm bed and snuggle under the covers.

   I love the three little pigs; Bacon, Ham, and Sausage!

   My wife thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me someday.

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.

   If you love Christmas so much, why don't you marry it, Eve? What I'm trying to say is: Merry Christmas Eve.

   I love when my husband plays terrorist, he knocks down my walls

   "For the love of honey!" - Grizzly bear

   i can show my love to her everyday <3 valentines day is just another day :-)

   Marriage tip #8: Your wife values honesty. So if your wife asks you if her best friend is prettier than her, just say "yes". Your wife will value and appreciate your opinion, and she will love you more for it.

   “I just called to say I love you.” -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work

   If you don't remember the last woman you made love to, you must be Gay or Married

   Wondering why people who are in Love would want to re-arrange the alphabets "I" and "U" to express their feelings, honestly I don't see a valid reason of doing that whatsoever

   I love you, #GreenShirtGuy. I'm cracking up with you.

   Still haven't used a package of Willow brand toilet paper I scored as I just love the name Willow, thats like Wilson but softer, longer-lasting, more essential.

   Love is that gun we all use to commit suicide.

   Marriage tip: When you're away from your wife for a night, ignore all of her phone calls. This will cause her to miss you more while you're gone so that she'll love you more when you're home.

   I messaged a woman that I was madly in love with her. Then I rubbed one out. Now I kinda just like her.

   I’ve often wondered what an atheist would do if he was stuck behind a car that wasn’t moving at a green light and had a bumper sticker on it that said "Honk if you love Jesus."

   70% of Facebook users have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Married… LIKE if you love food.