life Funny Status Messages

   My life advice to kids: In the end Blossom grew up to be Sheldon Cooper's girlfriend,,,, that's all you need to know.

   I want a person to come into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper....The closer it gets to the end the faster it spins!!!

   I love you so much I increased your life insurance. Now shut up and lets go camping in the bear-infested woods.

   My life feels like I'm constantly waiting while it's buffering

   at the crossroads of life and has taken the road less traveled........only because of my stupid "Tom-Tom" those GPS devises can be very irritating sometimes.

   Love,Live,Exist and be loyal. The rest is a piece of cake. You only live once so live your life right

   ‪#‎bringbackourboys‬ Lets make peace not war. Lets love and not hate. We are all the same. We all have the same inspirations in life. Let's do good for each other and stop the hatred.

   Being strong-willed does NOT mean I am a b itch. It means I am in control of my life, stick to what I believe in and do NOT rely on anyone but myself.

   If anyone wonders what a difference a year can make in someone's life....allow me to explain......if someone had told me a year ago....that Lance Armstrong and I would have the same number of Tour de France wins....I would have argued with them....but now

   thinking... Since the world is ending tomorrow; meaning today is the last full day of life ... I'm thinking about hosting a Pre-Rapture Sex Party. Message me for the details! ;)

   I need to throw that guy a "get a life" jacket...

   I have Never faked a Sarcasm in my Life!

   life is too short to date ugly men!!!

   poor Gary Coleman...he lived such a short life.

   My mom used to say I'm wasting my life playing video games. Then I thought "no sweat, I've got 2 more lives."

   Life without chocolate is like a beach without water.

   ......Update status, nobody likes?...... -_- (1) Deletes Facebook profile (2) Move to a next country (3) Change name (4) Start new life =)

   I love it when I drop my iPod and my headphones save it's life!

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them German, Because life is also terrifying and confusing.