life Funny Status Messages

   It's discouraging when you write out your life plans on a post-it and still have enough room to take a message.

   Life is a terminal illness. Nobody gets out of here alive.

   Atheists, spending all their negative energy and life talking about God until they become plant food. What a waste

   Monday's don't suck... Your life does

   My life must be a circus. My family expects me to jump through hoops, the people I work with are clowns, I'm juggling career and personal life, and the whole darn thing is a balancing act!

   Admit It, At least once in your Life, You Have Tried To Squeeze your eyes Shut and Shoot Lasers Out of them With Intense Concentration.

   THERE IS A VIRUS SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE ON FB. DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS THAT ASK YOU TO PLAY FARMVILLE. SNOPES JUST CONFIRMED IT WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE & TURN YOU INTO A LOSER. PLEASE REPOST THIS IN YOUR STATUS.

   ‎3 facts about life: 1 You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2 Your retarded cause you just tried it. 3 Now your smiling cause you're an idiot.

   poor life decisions on your part, does not constant an emergancy on my part.

   Dear BP CEO: You can have your life back as soon as you fix that pipe.

   If only I could figure out a way to fall asleep at work without anybody noticing. That would definitely be one of my top achievements in life!

   Babe, I can't promise you that you won't have problems in your life...but I can promise you that you'll never have to face them alone..

   If my life was a movie, you would be here by now.

   I have spent almost half of my life trying to come up with new ways to get out of things and situations.

   There's only three things I wanna win at 1) Life 2) beer Pong 3) Video Games

   People say, if life throws you lemons, throw them back, make lemonade or squirt them in your eyes so that the problems become last of your worries. But them smart asses never said what to do if life kicks you in the balls. Yeah!, there's no recovery from

   I think tomorrow I'll put on a T-Shirt that says "LIFE" and then go downtown and pass out lemons.

   It's hard to stay in your lane when your life is an endless multi-lane highway.

   Life is a vicious circle, I will trip you during a game of musical chairs. . .

   What is it that I want out of life? An apology would be a good start.