love Funny Status Messages
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I love my women like I love my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke.
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11-11-2015 21:03
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I wish I loved anything as much as fat chicks love to tell people that Marilyn Monroe was a size 12.
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02-16-2015 11:32
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From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.
I love tattoos- every year on my birthday I get a small dash on my inner thigh were my balls currently hang. You can't tell me that's not going to be a beautiful work of art when it's finished.
I thought love was a giveing thing.... The more I gave the less I got
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03-13-2010 00:44
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Hey Boston-LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER♥
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05-02-2010 20:09 by bstn rulz
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"The righteous are those who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of God, saying: 'We feed you for the sake of God Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks.'"
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03-09-2016 14:31 by dang
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Gotta love the siri iphone 4. My friend farted in the car and siri new we had pizza..!!
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03-11-2012 21:09
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Y.O.L.O You Obviously Love Oreos
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04-09-2012 03:47 by Omar Ayub
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Meatloaf will do anything for love.. but won't do it for a klondike bar. . .
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09-02-2013 21:48
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look down, back up, where are you. You're on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What's in your hand, back at me, I have it, it's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love, look again, the tickets are now diamonds
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03-02-2010 21:34
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I've I heard people want to boycott Beauty and the Beast because there's a gay character in it. It's okay for a teenage girl to fall in love with a rabid, hairy dog, but you can't have a gay person in a movie?
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03-07-2017 20:17 by HotTea
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Of course I believe in the Zodiac.... I'm a Leo and I love the movie Titanic...if that's not convincing enough, my grandmother is a cancer.......and she was killed by a giant lobster.
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06-19-2014 18:48 by Cicci
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I'm more comfortable with animals than humans. Animals understand love clearly. Love a human and they misconstrue it a thousand ways.
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09-11-2013 14:41
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Love when people update their Facebook page 20+ times a day. Frickin annoying. We get it you are important!!
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08-25-2012 03:57
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Never text your wife and your gal pal at the same time...one misplaced "love you" can confuse everything
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02-15-2013 15:07 by Mike
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Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include "being kind," "making her feel special" & "showing her respect." They love that shi#t
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11-10-2011 12:40
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Here's a tip for you travellers, when Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me comes on your ipod in the airport, DON'T sing along. I spent 12 hours explaining that I was just singing the lyrics "Love me like a bomb, b...b...b..bomb"
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10-24-2014 18:34
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I love cats! They taste just like chicken
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09-13-2012 11:54 by SWEDE
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Driving 32 miles to buy the same apples I could get 50% cheaper at the local grocery store 1 mile from my place is the reason why I absolutely love Autumn.
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09-20-2021 09:04
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