life Funny Status Messages

   No Woman will take over my life again,,,,,whats that, be right there honey.!

   Your Fortune Cookie for Today: A long-forgotten loved one will soon come back into your life. Buy the negatives at any price.

   The way you're bashing your laptop keyboard is how your life is going.

   My life's not always.. 'Fun and games' Sometimes it's too much whiskey annnd... Oops.. Wrong hole!

   This post is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.

   My life coach threw a chair at me.

   Somtimes I get the feeling that maybe the love of my life got stuck up in a Condom

   Pro Life really just means Pro Being Born... on your own after that.

   It's not stalking if you're documenting their life for a mixtape.

   'Battery life' is an interesting phrase...it signifies thas your smartphone's battery has a life, but you don't.

   Fellas; A girl without a hobby is a girl who will make a hobby of destroying your life.

   Did you ever notice how everything in life just keeps shrinking? Even in the Hip-Hop world. It used to be 'Biggie Smalls, Big Pun, Fat Joe. Then it was lil jon, lil kim, liil wayne. 15yrs from now its gonig to be, 1PAC, BalemicBob, AtomMike, SpermSpewed!

   I think I've finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.

   I learned about life from 'Adventures In Babysitting.' The city is full of freaks and as long as your hair is fabulous you will not die

   I'm sorry for ruining your life & turned you off to men forever, but please accept this cat as a parting gift. - Me after every first date

   G.I.R.L on the Internet is 'Guy In Real Life.'

   My life is like a box of chocolates. Only fat people want me.

   "Haha Good one snow.... Good one" *pulls snow aside and whispers* "Seriously dude, knock it off, you're ruining my life"

   There are only three things in life that are certain: Taxes, Death, and people's belief that anyone cares about the weather where they live.

   Life isn't measured by how many likes we get, but rather the moments that take our likes away.