nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   I like Carrie Underwood better on Sunday night football

   my field of dreams would be a football field built in a field barley made into beer to serve free of charge at the games.

   does fantasizing about the cheerleaders count as "fantasy football"?

   The refs in the NFL are throwing a ridiculous amount of flags these days. Pro football is now metaphorically considerd "flag football."

   hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.

   don't hug a football fan, give him a pat on the buttocks

   Football season is a lot like my se(x) life....except for I actually care when football season is coming.

   from where I come from helmets are won by motorcyclists not football players

   I now hold it in my hands. Finally. The expressed written consent of the National Football League.

   There are females getting ignored RIGHT NOW because football is back. Y'all will get the sidechick treatment all season. Keep ya head up tho

   "This was the best football game I've ever seen!" -Guy who's never seen a football game.

   The Superbowl halftime show will go down in history as "The Vag Chronicles."

   If the Seahawks win the SuperBowl XLIX It'll be amazing how the world will not give a fcuk.

   If you take god out of religion, it's just a bunch of people hoping their favorite football team wins.

   Superbowl 48, 2 teams from the only 2 states 2 have legalized pot, I'm guessing tht their "secret" of success is a bowl of "weedies" every morn 4 breakfast

   Barney Frank is retiring from Congress to coach football at Penn State....

   Tonight's Jets/Bills football uniforms resemble my Starbucks cup.

   A bunch of pro bowlers played a football game last night... wow, what an impressive bunch of two-sport athletes!

   Time to watch me some Men in Tights. Yay Superbowl!

   Bet you I can throw this under inflated football over them mountains...