love Funny Status Messages
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Love is like writing your name on the beach’s sand. Eventually, the waves will wash it all away until nothing’s left.
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10-01-2013 00:40
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The thing I love about my ex is she didn't take up much space in the trunk.
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06-06-2014 14:24
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Here's to the women who love me terribly, May they soon improve.
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05-26-2012 12:45
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now the jumping on Oprah's couch professing my love for Katie is even embarrassing to me. - Tom Cruise
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06-29-2012 14:32
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2 entirely different phrases; each have 3 words and 8 letters: “I Love You!” vs. “Go To Hell!”
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02-09-2012 14:25 by Czovczov
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I love "words with friends" so much I wish they would make it a board game.
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01-19-2012 20:54 by MikeM
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I love catching up with friends that I haven't seen for a while so that we can all sit around together doing shyt on our phones.
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04-14-2012 23:13 by fadolo
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I would hurt the people that I love for a taco right now.
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09-08-2012 14:59
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The love between a man and a woman acts like a mousetrap to lure a man towards a woman enticing him like a pure cheese, but is secretly tied with a trap.
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02-14-2016 04:51
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just realised the phrase is "in with hate...out with love" I thought it was the other way....no wonder I have no friends left!
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07-17-2010 07:17
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I'm knee deep in pu$$y. Seriously, my 19 cats love the hell outta me.
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10-28-2012 14:51
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I love Facebook like Angelina Jolie loves to fill out adoption papers.
Heard they have a new Michael Jackson video game out.....I bet the Pedophiles are gonna love this.
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11-17-2011 21:47
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You don’t get to choose who you love but you get to choose which underwear you’ll wear tomorrow and that shouldn’t be taken for granted.
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05-30-2014 08:57
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I love women's mentality "I said 'leave and never come back' but all I really want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles screaming 'I'm in love with you'!" - Taylor Swift
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09-03-2011 01:01
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searching Netflix for a movie to watch and found one that's titled after what all the women of my past have said to me... "I Love You, Don't Touch Me!"
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05-10-2011 23:51
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Dear Lunchables, I remember when I was a kid I used to love eating you, now that I'm an adult, I realize now that you are just cheese and crackers and are nowhere near a full lunch, wtf was I thinking. Please update your lunchables to feed more than a sma
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02-03-2011 17:10 by Drew
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Love is when you look into someone's heart and find everything you need.
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10-31-2011 06:47
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Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"
"I'd LOVE to lick your mackerel but I CAN'T! Michael Douglas says it'll give me throat cancer!"
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06-03-2013 06:48
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