life Funny Status Messages
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Douchenozzles flock to the internet for the simple reason that whatever stupid crap they can get away with online would earn them a cap in the a$$ in real life. 
Sorry, but it was time he ended it. You're both going different directions in life... he's getting taller, and let's face it... you're just getting fatter.
How can you compare the protestors to slaves?!? slaves were born into a hopeless life, but with hard work and accepting the fact that its not somebody elses job to provide for you. You can become anything!
Why would you try to avoid risks in life? To make it safely to death?
gonna go out and make a difference in the life of America's youth tonight!!! There is a lot of teachable amounts in the champagn room
My dad called Justin Bieber a tool. My life is complete.
Life Fact #37: it's impossible to have a bad day when you're wearing 'Hello Kitty' underpants ツ
There are three stages of a man's life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.
Just ate a half slice of cold pizza abandoned by my kid and wondered for the first time if I really AM Living My Best Life
... Finally made it to that great part of the relationship where I can now fart and drink beer on the couch and she only gives me a dirty look ..... instead of running out of the room screeming! Life is good :-)
67.By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
I hear people talking about their lactose intolerance all the time. I guess I could live with that but if I ever developed tequila intolerance life would no longer be worth living.
life is really not that hard; consider the daffodil....While you are doing that, I will steal your wallet.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a woman several shots of tequila and you're in for the night of your life.
If life is a b*tch then make sure yours is a good looking one!
if you go through life with your head in the sand all people will see is an ass!
I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through!
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long for fat people
If you are living your life without giving a 'F', you are only living a LI[ ]E.
My life is like watching The 3 Stooges in spanish [Search Results] [View All Messages]
