life Funny Status Messages
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Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if your morbidly obese. 
I believe on of the biggest problems in my life is that I don't listen to enough MC Hammer.
dropped his glasses in the toilet. As a result, he now has a crappy outlook on life.
The only success in life is making someone drive back and forth in front of your house late at night, wishing they were still with you.
In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!!!
Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..
When life hands you lemons you make lemonade so find somebody with vodka and have a party!!
I'm sure glad life gave me other photo opportunities after my high school yearbook portrait.
Life Is A Great Learning Book But Without CONTENTS !
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And the last day of your life so far.
Tell someone you love them today, because life is too short. But shout it to them in Russian, because life is also extremely terrifying and very confusing.
You can't always control who walks into your life, but you can always control which window you throw them out of.
If she spits on it first, you better get ready for the night of your life!
Most of the time my life is going great, the other times I am just sober.
Not now, Life. I have fake people to impress on the Internet.
Me: Glad, I am very happy today. Life: lol!! one second :P
I was just driving behind a car covered in pro life stickers and I thought "Man, that car hates abortion". Then it dawned on me that I don't know my car's political views. What if my car is a Republican? Or a racist? Maybe I don't want to know. I like my
There comes a time in your life where nothing gets you excited anymore. I've had this feeling for like 5 years now.
It's called the pursuit of happiness because you spend your life chasing it before you realize it's the roadrunner and you're the coyote.
I hate meeting super fine on Facebook but pugly in real life girls. [Search Results] [View All Messages]
