BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me.

   I wasn't that drunk" "Dude, you logged into Myspace."

   Behind every beautiful girl is the ugly relationship that made her scared to love again

   Okay, I haven't seen a damn spider around here in like three days...What the hell are they planning??

   Dog diary: Me and my master played all day long! Cat diary: Day 147 of captivity.

   changed his profile picture. Now I look a little less ugly

   If she treats you like an option, leave her like a choice.

   In your bed: it's 6:00, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school: it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31.

   You know you took a good picture of someone when they use it as their default pic or timeline cover.

   A kick in the nuts is above 9000 del (units) of pain, which is similar to giving birth to 160 kids and breaking up to 3200 bones at a time

   To all my Facebook Friends.....If you are over 20 years old and know the name to a Justin Bieber OR DAMN a Lady Gaga song, PLEASE Delete me as a friend....I don't think I wanna be friends with you!!!

   The reality is that if you have a job that requires a name tag, I'll never give a crap what your name is

   Everyone does about ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

   If Easter Egg hunting was an Olympic event, I would have at least 4 Gold Medals by now. I'm not sure why it is, but I have this extraordinary sixth sense.

   Never ask a cheater if they cheat. They'll cheat on that question too!

   They say a picture is worth a thousand words... have they ever noticed that a middle finger is worth a million?

   I will have my arms get ripped off before making another trip to the car after coming home from the grocery store.

   Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me.

   My friend came over today and left his new laptop on the damn floor. My dad not knowing how old fashion he is thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My dad weighs 980.34$ dollars.

   Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects.