life Funny Status Messages

   Life is like a confused teacher... First she gives the test then she teaches the lesson

   Video killed the radio star, and anime killed the Pornhub star, because circle of life.

   The best way to cook ramen noodles is to boil water, add noodles, wait three minutes, then try not to think about your life.

   There are four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus 3) You are Santa Claus 4) You look like Santa Claus

   Are there any good songs out there about life being a highway and about riding it all night long?

   I'm at the point of my life where if aliens come, they wont need to abduct me, I'll gladly go with them

   My girlfriend isn't allowed to go see "IT" I'm the only clown in her life .

   When life gives you scurvy, you’re going to wish you kept those lemons.

   [stuck at home] son: omg so bored daughter: omg so bored wife: omg so bored me: omg so bored dog: this is the greatest day of my life

   No woman will ever get caught cheating unless she wants you to know! Basic law of life.

   Real life friends? In this economy??

   My life is a very complicated drinking game.

   Sundays: Kinda wanna workout, kinda wanna eat loaded cheese fries, kinda wanna nap for five days, kinda wanna get my life together by 2:39 pm on Thursday.

   Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.

   Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.

   Life is like soup, only the hot ones get blown.

   The people who deserve to live the best of life are the exact same ones living the worst of it.

   "Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."

   My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD Bin at Walmart.

   stop taking life so seriously, noone is getting out alive anyway...