life Funny Status Messages

   thinks life ws much easier when Apples & Blackberies were just fruits.

   Drugs are just emotions that life is too stingy to give you.

   life's a b***h, but she throws one hell of a party..

   If you think about it, "This was the greatest day of my life" is a very pessimistic statement.

   I have only had two loves in my life: Booze and something else

   Life stopped handing us lemons and started giving us reasons to drink instead

   Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever. Bartenders, they are called bartenders.

   If I never get crushed by a falling piano and walk away looking like a human accordian then life will have been a complete waste.

   Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.

   Can we please go back to the main menu of life? I think I accidentally chose "Extremely Hard".

   I'm not entirely sure a life spent smoking e-cigarettes is worth prolonging.

   My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.

   I'm at a point in my life where I'm just at a point in my life. Something I would say if I was drunk in a bar called ''Point in My Life.''

   the trouble with life is there is no background music

   Going to look for the meaning of life, first place I'm gunna check is this bottle of vodka

   Sometimes it seems I spend half my life just breathing in.

   In life, success is determined by the amount of sh!t you can take

   Those who want the minimum wage set to $15 an hour; calling it a living wage are clueless. How about a living education? If you're 30 and making fries for a living, don't expect me to subsidize your poor life choices.

   That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a life saber to open it...

   "When life handed ME lemonaid I turned it into Hard Lemonaid"- Mike