life Funny Status Messages

   received a reply from an X-Box Micro-softy telling me that the 'Red Circle of Death' is a 'Red Ring of Death'.... Well soooo sorry! But have you considered gatting a life or at the very least a sense of humor?

   If you're a man and in a relationship with a woman, life can get very confusing approximately every 28 days.

   Dear Life, When I asked if things could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

   My life has changed for the better ever since I decided to let God take care of my problems and Karma take care of my enemies.

   A group of mistakes is called a life......... next question

   I couldn't handle life if I wasn't weird.

   I don’t need the Government to run my life. I can screw it up all by myself.

   A man is incomplete until a woman comes in his life. After that.he is finished!

   Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!

   Im thinking about writing a book about my life, I just have to wait for the statue of limitations to expire

   Show me on your minivan where did your life go wrong and spiral out of control?!?.

   A great goal in life is to never let anyone you know see you removing a hair from your mouth.

   Thinking back on my life I've ridden a donkey down the grand canyon, not a big deal. The fact I sustained an erection the whole time humming the Bonanza theme probably IS!

   Just stubbed my toe on life

   Life would be so much easier if chocolate was a health food and they allowed drinking at work

   the best things in life are free *does not include shipping & handling*

   Right now my life is like a video game I'm stuck on this level without ne cheat codes

   Life experiences are like quarters, you lose both when you are sitting around on the couch.

   My life is like a never-ending episode of The Walking Dead where nothing happens but somehow everything is f*cked.

   I was going to type the best status message ever! It was going to be profound, changing, maybe even life altering. But then all of the sudden...I had to poop!