love Funny Status Messages

   Jesus Love You is a good thing to hear in church but a bad thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

   "I don't care what political party you lean towards, what religious denomination you claim or what side of the tracks you live on, I love you anyways. Whether you like it or not."

   When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!

   I love when doors automatically open for you, it makes me feel like I am a JeDi ;D

   The only "B" word you should call a girl is beautiful. B!tches love being called beautiful.

   I don't mean to be a stereotype, but like most women, I love shoplifting.

   You can't be wise and in love at the same time.

   It's ironic.... but wouldn't you love to be......."Booby Trapped"

   Granddad sure does love his baths - He's been in there for three days now.

   I shouldn't have to say I love you when it's obvious that my p enis adores you.

   Never fall in love with an a$$ man, unless you're prepared to offer him the moon.

   Love one, forget many.Do many, remember one.

   I know I love you because I fight most with the people I love – is the biggest bullsh*t ever.

   I'm a thirsty guy who digs your timeline pics. I love you and I'd do anything to meet you, although I've never seen you post anything with your pics that would lead me to believe you possess even the slightest semblance of a brain.

   if I had a penny that fell from above everytime I fell in love...i'll be rolling in my money, everyday would be sunny and i'll be looking forward to my next break up

   What's black, 'will always love you,' and has white on the nose? ... a Border Collie.

   Hey Spotify, safe for work does not translate to safe for my masculinity when Backstreet Boys - As Long As You Love Me, goes blaring through the shop. It probably didn't help that I knew all the words and the dance from the video either.

   Always love April 21st as it's Random Drug Testing Day at work.

   Don't forget to alienate people People love aliens

   Makin Love Faces...(⊙_⊙) (⊙_-) (>__=) (=_-) (^_^) (O_^) [⊙_+] (x_X) (-_-) (°_⊙)(-_0) (^_⊙) (+_=)