Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   would like to say on this last day of Winter. Winter, Kiss my Mother F*#$ing A$$ and DON'T HURRY BACK!!!

   When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.

   Dear Mother Nature: Get off the Vortex aleready.

   You'll never be the man your mother is.

   Taking my Mother-in-Law swimming off the western coast of Australia

   Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."

   just came back from a pleasure trip (took the mother-in-law to the bus station)

   Mother's day is a great time to let her know you're gay. P.S. She knows.

   Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.

   Psychotherapy is like the boardgame Clue: "I know who did it. It was my mother, with the passive-aggression, in the 80's."

   Trying to get someone to agree with your political or religious viewpoint, is as futile as trying to convince a mother that her baby isn't the cutest thing ever.

   the kinda guy your mother warned you about. Warned you not to let get away because a good man is hard to find.

   Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well.

   I’ve hugged my mother-in-law with more warmth than those female gymnasts at the Olympics.

   . My mother in-law is drowning, I've informed emergency services. Hope they get my letter in time to save her.

   My mother taught me to never argue with strangers on the Internet. She said I must agree to meet them in real life, and then punch them in the face.

   Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.

   Roses are red violets are blue, porn hub is down. So your mother's Facebook will do

   Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

   Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.