Jay Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if any of my calls were ever used for training or quality assurance.

   People make counterfeit money, but money also makes counterfeit people.

   Someone taught my Firby to sing Taylor Swift's song "Shake it off", who ever you are...you are pure EVIL.

   Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand and not his a$$ or he'd have shot out a web every time he farted.

   Makes you wonder if Cedar Point tourism will be down next year. Pretty sure no kid is gonna be too excited to go see Sandusky...

   Arch West, the creator of Doritos, has passed away at the age of 97. Do you think he'll have a triangle shaped tombstone???

   needs a facebook button that says 'stfu already'

   Moms are really very clever!! within the first 10 minutes of visitng her, she read my mind better than I ever read it myself! I could never be a real man just like my own mother.. love you mom!! :-)

   word of the day: Dictate. You can use it in a sentence like "My girfriend says my dictate good"

   - in memory of Joh Lennon who died 30 years ago today. Did you know the only vegetable he ate was brocolli? I'm happy he finally decided to give peas a chance...