love Funny Status Messages

   I asked my Heart : Why can't I Sleep at Night? My Heart told me : Because you have already Slept in the Afternoon. Don't act like you are in Love !

   I love the holidays. A time when people are supposed to be more nice and caring, actually become bigger a$$holes than they are the rest of the year.

   Swallow my babies so I know your love is real.

   What I love most about my ex is that she is someone else's problem now.

   Admit it, you love them so you Facebook stalk them. You over think your status updates in case they read them & you look @ all their photos several times a day.

   Did you here about the elderly couple who lived next to a church? .....They were making love to the rhythm of the church bells..........A fire engine went passed and the old man died of a heart attack.

   God may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding..,.God thinks you suck also.

   Whoever said, "love conquers all" obviously wasn't very good with a gun.

   Ladies, want to test your man's love and devotion? Need to know if your man is commited to you're relationship? Ask him to add a line on his Cell Phone account...nothing says love and commitment like a 2 year contract! ;-)

   Some of you ladies need to stop listening to Beyonce. F*ck relationships! Just keep swallowing until he love you

   I would love to put a smile on your face..and I will be using construction paper and a stapler.

   Makin Love Faces...(⊙_⊙) (⊙_-) (>__=) (=_-) (^_^) (O_^) [⊙_+] (x_X) (-_-) (°_⊙)(-_0) (^_⊙) (+_=)

   I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre

   Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single.

   I love it when people I hate get in trouble.

   I have to show her I can hate her before I show her I can love her

   If the happy in love couples are called "love birds" the miserable fighting couples should be called "angry birds"

   Daughter: Dad I'm a lesbian Dad: ok it's cool.. Second daughter: I'm also a lesbian Dad: Christ! Doesn't anyone in this family love c0ck? Son: I do!

   Hey adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via Facebook, learn how to text.

   I LOVE my job!! Especially the part when I clock out and leave!!!