Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Carrie Fisher will forever stake claim on the title of Best Buns.

   I'm going to an all white New Year's Eve party and I have nothing to wear

   Can someone tell me when Santa is coming? He forgot some of the stuff I asked for

   my beer never tells me it has a girlfriend.

   Men in white windowless van's have the worst candy.

   Melania Trump just reported a suspicious small package in her bedroom.

   They say 50% of #status updates are written while sitting on the #toilet That's why I don't buy used mobile #phones .

   OK 2016 there are still a few days left ... so I nominate Hillary and the Kardashians just to ballance things out ...

   Why in the hell is 2016 letting Kanye West live?

   I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...

   OK... I think it's time for 2016 to die before any more good people do....

   Why is it friggen up if you put in a twitter neam

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take JCGJ too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..

   Carrie Fisher said Trump would never be her president and damned if she wasn't right!

   If you can't handle me at my drunk,...join the crowd.

   I wish I loved anything as much as Santa loves rich kids.

   Carrie Fisher was found unconscious by a relative,who tried to revive her with chest compressions. Unfortunately, the force wasn't strong enough.

   Sierra, Echo, November, Delta. November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra

   Apparently there are some "Careless Whispers" about how George Michaels passed away. .... Still too soon?