Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 988 of 6383
Some celebrities said they were leaving the country if Trump got elected president. I didn't realize they meant die, Kanye West, we're still waiting...
←Rate |
12-30-2016 08:09 by JAB
Comments (0)
If you got a big screen TV for Christmas be sure to put the empty box with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed and not yours.
←Rate |
12-30-2016 06:43
Comments (0)
It is amazing how many people have bad reactions to gluten, peanuts, and facts.
←Rate |
12-30-2016 06:22
Comments (0)
Houston, we have a problem. Never mind. It's nothing. You know what the problem is. Are you listening me me? Fine. -First woman on the Moon.
←Rate |
12-30-2016 06:21
Comments (0)
Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea.
←Rate |
12-30-2016 06:20
Comments (0)
Carrie Fisher had information to get Hillary arrested. But just in case Hillary's people got to her, she passed along the info to her mom.
←Rate |
12-30-2016 06:20
Comments (0)
Actors like Carrie Fisher claimed Trump would never be their president. I hope the others follow her lead!
←Rate |
12-29-2016 23:57 by DrestinB
Comments (0)
2016 goes from bad to worse: Nickelback is still a band
←Rate |
12-29-2016 20:29
Comments (0)
On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a weekend for me.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 18:42 by Adam
Comments (0)
My favorite yoga pose? Downward facing nap.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 18:23
Comments (0)
Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Donald Trump too..
←Rate |
12-29-2016 18:19 by JCGJ
Comments (0)
ETC.....End of Thinking Capacity.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 18:19
Comments (0)
With all the deaths in 2016, there is one worth celebrating. Obama's failed legacy.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 18:09 by Fazzella
Comments (0)
I'll call and report my car as stolen before I admit that I forgot where I parked it.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 17:00 by SEAN
Comments (0)
I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 16:57 by SEAN
Comments (0)
One of my biggest fears is I'll marry into a family that runs 5Ks on holidays
←Rate |
12-29-2016 14:52
Comments (0)
Never criticise your husband's faults. It may have been those little imperfections which stopped him from getting a better wife.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 13:01 by Yaj
Comments (0)
This milk tastes like gorgonzola cheese. The sell by date is 12/29. Never mind. 12/29/15.
←Rate |
12-29-2016 12:04 by Fazzella
Comments (0)
let's take a picture of Trump at his Inauguration...and then again 4 years later. Should be fun!
←Rate |
12-29-2016 11:47
Comments (0)
let's ake a picture of Trump at his Inauguration...and then again 4 years later. Should be fun!
←Rate |
12-29-2016 11:46
Comments (0)