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All voicemails from my Dad start with "HELLO! HELLO!" and end with him trying to dial another number.
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04-02-2017 21:58 by
BEGO
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Don't give me this, "Just because I accepted your friend request, it doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you" stuff. If I had wanted to sleep with you, it would've happened already.
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04-02-2017 11:50 by
Mick
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Sorry there will be no April Fools day prank coming out of the white house. They already did by putting Trump in office.
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04-02-2017 00:35
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Every time at Subway they make you a bad sandwich, shove it in their mouth.
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04-01-2017 22:00
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I puked in the backseat of my friend's brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1994. There wasn't any social networking back then, so I'm telling you now.
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04-01-2017 20:41
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Buckwheat was asked to use dictate in a sentence. "Darla say my dictate good"
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04-01-2017 18:23
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Important life lesson learned.... you can't hide a bogger under a glass table.
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04-01-2017 18:19
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What's the difference between a illegal and a park bench??? A park bench can support a family
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04-01-2017 18:15
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The pinata is a great way for Mexicans to teach their kids to beat something till they get what they want.
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04-01-2017 17:54
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Musl/ms dont use toilet paper. Starbucks vows to hire 10,000 of them. Enjoy your coffee.
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04-01-2017 17:45
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Trumps first hour in the whitehouse - Clean up all the crack baggies
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04-01-2017 17:40
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Hillary Clinton was caught telling the truth today.... April Fools!
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04-01-2017 17:36
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BREAKING: Mike Flynn's microwave just offered to testify in exchange for immunity.
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04-01-2017 16:19
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Wonders if Mike Pence sleeps upside down from his ceiling in his house with no furniture.
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04-01-2017 16:17
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Miss the days when a White House scandal only involved the Oval Office and an intern with dirty knees.
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04-01-2017 16:16
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The EPA is rejecting science in favor of blind faith in mega-conglomerates who prize profit over humanity. That's why it was created, right?
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04-01-2017 16:14
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Watching the news is like playing Clue. So how do you think Flynn's going to die? Bannon in the bathroom with a needle.
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04-01-2017 16:13
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Trump has been divorced three times. From: 1) Ivanka. 2) Marla. 3) Reality.
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04-01-2017 16:12
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Every day is April Fools if you voted for Trump.
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04-01-2017 16:10
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Don't get Donald Trump started on how Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd is no match for Dreamy Eyes Sean Hannity.
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04-01-2017 16:09
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