Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If I could have dinner with anyone, alive and dead, no question,,, I would want it to be Schrödinger's cat
←Rate | 05-01-2017 02:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trolls used to live under bridges...now they work for the DNC and are on the internet.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 22:09 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was planning to have my teeth polished but decided to get a tan instead.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 21:55 by Depirts Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why male paedophiles, who likes male children, don't consider themselves gay.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 20:47 by ADM Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I fell and hit my head really hard maybe I'll go see the new Baywatch movie.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The grass is always greener where the bodies are buried.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 12:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks I'll be here till 11, don't forget to tip your waitress she's my only ride home.
←Rate | 04-30-2017 07:32 by Paul Medrano Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man drove past my house in a van painted: come to my van for free candy. Everyone thought he was dangerous, but I got my candy eventually.... the memories
←Rate | 04-30-2017 03:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching wealthy politicians who live lavish lifestyles talk about "the plight of the poor" leaves one cold.... and angry
←Rate | 04-30-2017 03:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anybody seen me out last night, it wasn't me...I've been hacked!
←Rate | 04-30-2017 02:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Presidential Executive Order: All DNC Trolls must now only fly United Airlines
←Rate | 04-29-2017 22:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who remembers when we had a census of a coming ice age, so the government & EPA made all vehicles get catalitic converters that made cars get less milage & use more gas, which made more pollution so we had to stop acid rain,&ozone holes. SCIENCE RULES lol
←Rate | 04-29-2017 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon EPA/Science: If we dont do something about Water War, Food War, Ice Age, Acid Rain, Ozone, Over population, Solar Flares, Y2k, Cimate Change/Warming/Weather, we will be dead within 15 years.
←Rate | 04-29-2017 20:41 Comments (8)  


   messageicon Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
←Rate | 04-29-2017 20:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn! Trump really hates the LGBT community. I don't remember any president openly come out as a bigot and proud of it.
←Rate | 04-29-2017 17:33 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I just executed a North Korean Squirrel.
←Rate | 04-29-2017 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fyre Festival Attendee: "I'll have a cheese sandwich." Fyre Festival Host: "Here you go, that'll be $1200.00." FF Attendee: "Hey, still cheaper than a sandwich at the airport."
←Rate | 04-29-2017 12:47 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trumps latest slogan...Make America Golf Again!
←Rate | 04-29-2017 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
←Rate | 04-29-2017 07:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My inner self is in Photoshop
←Rate | 04-29-2017 06:59 Comments (0)  




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