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My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.
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05-07-2017 17:57 by
Gump
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Pineapple on pizza is as appealing as pepperoni on pineapple upside-down cake.
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05-07-2017 14:59 by
Mick
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Frozen Vegetables... Or as I like to call them: Ready made ice packs that help you get your ice cream home without melting.
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05-07-2017 10:30 by
Barkers
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Traffic signals: Red = Stop and look at phone. Green = Listen for horn signals. Yellow = Go
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05-07-2017 10:13
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. Don't wear skinny jeans if you don't have skinny genes. Just saying
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05-07-2017 09:23 by
Aerotim
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I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
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05-07-2017 08:55 by
Aerotim
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Leaving out one letter can cost you thousands of dollars in legal fees: "Doll I'm having a blast in Las Vegas, wish you were her."
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05-07-2017 08:53 by
Aerotim
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Some mornings you just can't smell enough coffee. ☕️
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05-07-2017 08:51 by
Aerotim
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How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
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05-07-2017 08:49 by
Aerotim
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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
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05-07-2017 08:42 by
Gump
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I was wearing glasses before it was a Snapchat filter...I'm a trendsetter
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05-07-2017 04:05 by
Eddy
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I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work
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05-06-2017 21:54 by
Glenn M
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Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
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05-06-2017 16:11
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I really hate conflict........unless you guys like it,in that case I love it.
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05-06-2017 16:00 by
Cicci
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You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
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05-06-2017 13:12
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Why is sorting "Price: High to Low" even an option
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05-06-2017 13:05
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That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
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05-06-2017 10:15 by
Kisstopher707
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I t.hink I. mig.ht hav.e ina.dverte.ntly tak.en one .of my wif.e's bir.th c.ontrol pi.lls beca.use m.y perio.ds a.re irr.egu.lar
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05-06-2017 08:24
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I don't celebrate Cinco de Mayo. - said no Juan ever.
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05-06-2017 06:54 by
GlimmerTriplet
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Auto correct is my worst enema
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05-06-2017 04:02
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