Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

   You can not take people's right away who want to take other people rights. You become as bad as them. We all have rights, even stupid people like the hate and anti hate group people.

   Hate group gets permit to protest. Anti hate group does not get permit to protest. But the hate group is the criminals for obeying the law.

   Anti hate groups protest hate groups for wanting to take away people's rights, by taking away their rights. That kids is a mental illness.

   I don't care that you don't support The President. Hell, you can't even support yourself !

   Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.

   Oops, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that you were a Special Needs Person. Until you said, “I don’t like The New President of the United States of America.”

   It took Trump two days - and outcry from lawmakers and many other people on social media -- to condemn white nationalists and neo-Nazis. I no longer want to support a president like that. I was a huge Trump supporter - not anymore...

   Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave them a glass of water.

   She doesn’t need a sugar daddy, she needs a glucose guardian.

   I see that you live next door to a pilot. You know, pile it here and pile it there.

   People are like mattresses. You start out firm then end up sagging in the middle.

   Good job Trump for finally denouncing the white nationalists. Now that wasn't hard, was it?

   Ladies, when I hit on you don't tell me that you're engaged. You're just currently booked. And bookings can be cancelled any time.

   [Knock on the door] Police: Police! Open up! Me: What do you want? Police: We just want to talk. Me: How many of you are there? Police: Two. Me: Then talk to each other.

   Texas to plan another White Nationalist rally on 9/11. If this doesn't tell you the people in Texas are f-ed up, then there is no hope for you and should stop being an American all together.

   Trump doesn't have time to denounce the #$%$ but does so instantly against a CEO that withdrawals from one of his committees. If you didn't know Trump was a white supremacist before, you do now.

   Parents, your kids are growing up "too" fast, not to fast...

   I was grocery shopping today and when I was finished I went to the checkout line. The lady at the register said "Did you find everything you were looking for?" I said "No. I was looking for a $100 bill in the Rice Krispies section I but didn't find one."

   Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison and drugs are really expensive in prison.