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Page: 908 of 6446
New breakfast cereal called Prosatooties. They don't snap crackle or pop. They just in the bowl and smile at you.
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09-17-2017 00:38 by
Jake
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First it was a wall. Then a fence. Now it's 20,000 boxes propped up with sticks. And a taco under each one.
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09-17-2017 00:25 by
IDTN
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Stupid kid fell in the well again. --Lassie, if she were a cat.
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09-16-2017 22:54
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Next time you find yourself complaining on your $600 smartphone, put it down and rethink your life.
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09-16-2017 22:36 by
markf
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So let me get this straight -- they left the porridge on the table and went for a walk, and the 3 bowls cooled at different rates?
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09-16-2017 22:34
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Any coincidence that OJ gets parole about the same time that Ford Motor Company brings back the Bronco?
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09-16-2017 22:27
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Don't have time to read the news anymore. Just show me a picture of something bad, give it a miguided headline, and promise I will get angry.
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09-16-2017 22:23
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When a guy says "I'm Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
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09-16-2017 22:22
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How do you milk sheep? Bring out a new iPhone and charge a grand for it.
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09-16-2017 21:55 by
DocHoliday
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hey we're back to funny quotes... Dummy-Crats must be reading Killary's book.
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09-16-2017 20:26
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The worst thing about parallel parking is that there are usually witnesses.
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09-16-2017 16:17
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they say you have to go through hell to get to heaven,i wish I brought my gps with me cause I'm lost.lol
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09-16-2017 15:31
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My friend Ryan is getting his vasectomy reversed tomorrow...I'm planning to make a movie about it and call it "Saving Ryan's Private"
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09-16-2017 14:52
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thinks that Facebook should give a breathalyzer test before you can sign in.
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09-16-2017 14:51
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I didn't get a toy train like the other kids, I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
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09-16-2017 14:49
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The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.
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09-16-2017 14:48
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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09-16-2017 14:47
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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $4.95 a minute.
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09-16-2017 14:47
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Never join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
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09-16-2017 14:46
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Monica Lewinsky has launched her new 'patriotic' theme designer dresses...they are available in red, white and blew
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09-16-2017 14:45
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