love Funny Status Messages

   I love driving behind old people. You can get so much done: eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, read a book... write a book, etc.

   An ex should stay an EX. They`re an EXample of the wrong love & an EXplanation for why you deserve better!

   Ladies, if you love a man, set him free. If he comes back he will be yours forever. If he doesn't, the new chick probably does anil.

   I'm ambidextrous; I can drink and make love equally well with either my left or right hand.

   ♫So I'm shaving all my love.....Yeah I'm shaving all my lovin'...Yes I'm shaving all my love for you ♫

   Gotta love the siri iphone 4. My friend farted in the car and siri new we had pizza..!!

   You can keep your love, your trust is what attracts me.

   I'll rather slip and fall in sh!t than fall in love with you!

   If absence really makes the heart grow fonder, then the boss is going to *love* my new 2-day work weeks.

   Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

   I love my six pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat.

   Nothing says love like, "I'm busy this weekend but I'll call you Wednesday."

   I don't wanna be presumptuous, but I think this Sandra Fluke chick just might be the love of my weekend. Now, if she'd only return my phone calls...

   Every time Rush Limbaugh talks the more I'm convinced that he's the love child of Stay Puff marshmallow man, Jabba the Hut, and a cancerous tumor

   MILF...Man I Love Fries.

   Sometimes I spice up my love life by getting my girlfriend to wear a long black nightgown with buttons on it. Makes her look just like a remote control.

   Girls love shoes... so if she throws one at you, you know she's really pissed off.

   I'll probably never love anything as much as this sweet old lady sitting next to me at the Blackjack table loves her next cigarette.

   I love it when I read a post and I think ive read the page but its just some idiot reposting a post from a few pages back.

   And then one day she realized she could never love a man who could name more than 2 Kardashians.