love Funny Status Messages

   I hate when couples say "I love you." after just a week of dating. Ignorant fools. Makes me want to slap them in the face.

   Tim Tebow may love Jesus, but it's pretty apparent that Jesus is NOT a Tebow fan.

   I love the word "Allegedly". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly.

   Women are not complicated... They just want love... and chocolate... and shoes... and some other stuff

   I love driving behind old people. You can get so much done: eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, read a book... write a book, etc.

   An ex should stay an EX. They`re an EXample of the wrong love & an EXplanation for why you deserve better!

   Ladies, if you love a man, set him free. If he comes back he will be yours forever. If he doesn't, the new chick probably does anil.

   I'm ambidextrous; I can drink and make love equally well with either my left or right hand.

   ♫So I'm shaving all my love.....Yeah I'm shaving all my lovin'...Yes I'm shaving all my love for you ♫

   Gotta love the siri iphone 4. My friend farted in the car and siri new we had pizza..!!

   You can keep your love, your trust is what attracts me.

   I'll rather slip and fall in sh!t than fall in love with you!

   If absence really makes the heart grow fonder, then the boss is going to *love* my new 2-day work weeks.

   Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

   I love my six pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat.

   Nothing says love like, "I'm busy this weekend but I'll call you Wednesday."

   I don't wanna be presumptuous, but I think this Sandra Fluke chick just might be the love of my weekend. Now, if she'd only return my phone calls...

   Every time Rush Limbaugh talks the more I'm convinced that he's the love child of Stay Puff marshmallow man, Jabba the Hut, and a cancerous tumor

   MILF...Man I Love Fries.

   Sometimes I spice up my love life by getting my girlfriend to wear a long black nightgown with buttons on it. Makes her look just like a remote control.